Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
