Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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