you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
