If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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