Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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