thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize