WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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