don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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