i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize