So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
