found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I wear drunk well.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
