how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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