I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize