gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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