Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
