how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
