i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
