Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
