I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
