So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
