ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
