dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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