i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
