They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
