ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
