Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
