why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
