Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
