I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
