We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She bit a glass in half.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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