I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
