Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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