Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize