How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
