Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
