bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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