I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
