Buhtt sex?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
