'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
