I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
