The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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