He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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