These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize