Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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