and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
