omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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