"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
