My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
