Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
