i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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