Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
