i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize