Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How does it feel to date your dad?
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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