from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
