I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
