I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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