I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
