All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
