my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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