Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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