I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
