Don't you send me to vm
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
