I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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