Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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